Peer Edits ( Sam Sokoll & Jack Sullivan)

Peer Edit one
1. The first paragraph completely answered the five W's and a H very well, leaving no room to wonder really. None of them were answered in the next paragraph because they already were answered. It does go more specific later on and there is nothing really that i could ask for more to want to know about the subject. It could be improved in length
2. yes the did. the quote does not help answer any questions but is relative to what is happening. This section could be improved in length and could be made more relative to the story.
3. The story answers questions as they occur to the reader, and all of the important questions answered in the first section of hard news. As a reader, I want most want to know more about the specifics of the student and why she is significant. I think both student and teacher would answer the same.
4.No it really was not used in the story. I think it could very well be implemented in or around a quote, because someone could definitely be interviewed that has had to deal with it in one way before then in their life.
5. Vague attributions are present. think that they would be better if they actually had a name behind them not just "student" Attribution should be added here and in another quote, and the writer should express her own opinion at least once.

Peer Edit two
1-It could be improved in length as most of the others . The first paragraph completely answered the five W's and a H pretty well, leaving little unanswered. None of them were answered in the next paragraph because they already were answered for the most part. It does go more specific later on, much more specific. There is nothing really that i could ask for more to want to know about the subject.
2.Yes, the author provides a very direct quote in the second paragraph. The quote both answers more questions about the story and is very relative to everything.This section could be improved in length, and could definitely be added onto alot after the quote is said.
3. The author answers questions in sequential order basically in order of importance, getting all the hard facts first. all questions are answered, and as a reader I want to know more about the person quoted and possibly hear another from them.
4. Again no, it really was not used in the story much at all. I think it too could very well be implemented in or around this quote, because someone could definitely be interviewed that has had to deal with it in one way before then in their life. And that is the least complete part of this journal.
5. All information seems to be attributed, and the spelling and grammar seem to also be correct. More attributions should be added onto the end after the first quote, and at this time the author should also express himself a little more.